


Horrible Jokes

by chibiwriter



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M, Role-Playing Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3890026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibiwriter/pseuds/chibiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PurpleHawke is fave - based on this silly audio clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuwCUIgP8Ws</p>
            </blockquote>





	Horrible Jokes

“Hey.”

“Hey. What?”

There was a throaty giggle in the voice group chat.

One of Fenris’s eyebrows rose, entering the combo sequence on the keyboard that would make his character slash through a group of three enemies. Ugh. Skeletons. They gave little loot and had a tendency to form annoying swarms if one wasn’t careful.

He was certain that it was Hawke’s laugh - he’d gotten used to the noise in the months since he’d joined the guild. 

“What kind of-” the speaker broke down in immature giggles.

“Oh no.” Varric said dully, his character shooting down a demon from across the battlefield, earning a critical hit. The demon shrieked as went through its death thrall animation. To be fair, Varric’s response was completely warranted. 

They all knew that Hawke had a penchant for shitty jokes.

“What kind of- What kind of overalls does Mario wear?”

There was a pause. There was a tally within the guild on who had to succumb to Hawke’s terrible sense of humor. Fenris knew for a fact it wasn’t his turn - last raid he’d almost flipped a table from the amount of terrible puns Hawke had thrown his way.

“I don’t know.” The response was clipped, already bracing for the terrible punchline. He almost felt sorry for Anders. Almost.

There was a moment of snickering, the rest of the guild sitting on edge and waiting for the descent of the answer that was sure to be stupid and exasperating.

“Denim denim denim.” the punchline was delivered musically, voice thick with mirth.

The voice group chat dissolved into surprised laughter. Even Fenris had to snort. Okay, that hadn’t been all bad. Isabela and Merrill, both of whom didn’t have mics at the moment, were dying in the text chat box.

“Oh, god. We’ve reverted to being five year olds.” gasped Anders, Sebastian and Varric mimicking the delivery in the background.

Hawke continued to laugh, hiccup-y little noises that were absolutely gleeful to listen to. Fenris knew he was wearing a stupidly amused expression and not for the first time thanked the heavens that they’d all agreed video chat was an unnecessary distraction when one was playing an MMO.

“Oh, man.” Hawke said breathlessly - it came out like a moan, and Fenris had to swallow suddenly and bite his bottom lip. Shit. Good to know that stupid festering crush was still there.

“As fun as this has been,” Aveline said, her voice surprisingly calm given that she’d just been snorting unattractively into her mic for a good minute, “Don’t you think we should focus on the GIANT SPIDER that is currently climbing down the wall?”

“Fuck, a spider? Why is always a fucking spider?” Hawke whined, a sharp scoff from Varric answering his complaint.

“Maybe because we’re in a place called ‘The Arachnid Queen’s Lair’?” Fenris said dryly, earning a whimper from the other player.

“Hey, Broody.” Varric said casually, his character already shooting rounds at the dungeon boss. “Red’s high enough leveled and can aggro this thing solo. Why don’t you take Hawke and hit her from behind?”

The chat box flashed - Isabela had whispered to him ‘ _just take him PERIOD!_ ’

“Oh, god, yes yes yes. Fenris, PLEASE let’s do that.” Hawke stuttered, his onscreen character flailing about from its player’s doubtlessly jittery keyboard tapping.

‘ _see? HE WANTS U!!!_ ’ Thanks, Isabela.

Fenris rolled his eyes and sighed through his nose, setting his character to sprint around to the backside of the giant spider. Hawke took his movement as an affirmation and loped alongside him. He would never in his life admit to how much it pleased him that their characters ran into battle together. Never.

Thanks mostly to Varric and Sebastian’s long-distance, high-damage shots and Hawke’s uncanny ability to somehow magically combo critical hits, the Arachnid Queen fell quickly. Varric and Isabela gathered most of the loot - which was just as well since the two of them had the best luck getting bids on stuff in the marketplace.

Fenris tuned out most of the chat, straining to hear one person in particular breathe out a sigh.

“Oh, wow, dang - look at the time! I gotta go!” Hawke said, remorse dripping through his mic. “I’ll catch you guys later?”

There was a chorus of agreement and well-wishes from the voice group chat and the text chat box. Fenris could only manage a sullen “Goodbye, Hawke.” before the player’s green online status went grey. 

There was a moment of silence.

Then:

“Denim denim denim.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my Tumblr.


End file.
